Relentless Throbbing
by XxPorcelainKnightXx
Summary: …Have you ever heard it? It's so faint… So very faint… Like a pulsing sensation that isn't exactly coming from something that's alive, yet it insists on moving like it is... But that's when I heard it- something with a contradictory, fluid factor that called out to me. [probably to be edited later, I churned this out at 3am...]


…Have you ever heard it? It's so faint… So very faint… Like a pulsing sensation that isn't exactly coming from something that's alive, yet it insists on moving like it is. It insists and persist and degrades and degenerates until there is nothing left but that noise as everything else cease to move and function. Even still, even after its previous host is gone, it hounds the one who had heard it before it's bodies last moments and trails them until they allow themselves to become vulnerable- that is when it will strike, and it will throb and destroy and persist in its methods until suddenly, after coming to terms with it being inside of your exists while it slowly gives up on trying to become painful to you- it just… Stops. And leaves you. It leaves you empty and raw and with such a malformed shape that you can't possibly hope to find something to fill it the same way again.

But that's when I heard it- something with a contradictory, fluid factor that called out to me. Something that could fill the void in a way that singing alone to myself could not. I always felt that way… Always felt that way after grandpa took me in, confused as I was by it all, when he was so kind to me- even when he said cruel things I didn't understand and made my hide my horrid face-, then one day I heard his heart stop beating… I heard it stop. He slept and… It ceased to exist. I sat there, patiently waiting for him to wake up and sang him the song he loved ever so much- but it did nothing to stir him or shake his core, and the resounding noise refused to permeate the silent air, no matter how much my song protested. I sang until I became horse, until his hand, long after being cold, started to rot, and yet… I still didn't understand. I sat there… While he slowly died… But he said souls ascended- so was that throbbing I heard every day of his life his heart trying to ascend the stairs to such a higher place? So I'd simply find him upon those higher places…

But as I've said before, that's when I heard it- the vocalized liquid that managed to cure my confusion and the acidic properties of the typrophobic like holes in my heart… I heard it, while he gave such a feverant command, and within an instant I had declared him someone I would put close to my heart no matter the cost. I would do anything to be by his side, hear his voice give me a command and follow through on it. I'd do anything to the point where it was unacceptable for me to act in such a mannerism. I would degrade him to keep him by my side- but those were thoughts for another me that does not exist here. I feel, I descended, from the sky several times in front of him and regretted none of them, but do not classify me as your so called "angel" or "gods" for this monster is nothing of the sort, which is why I must hide my face so the one most precious in all of his kindness won't come to resent me... So, for now, I will call ever so politely to his enemies to stop hurting him in a casual tone, but the moment I cease to do so is the moment I will surely kill them for laying a hand on him… For I'd give up body and soul because he can do with them as he wishes since he was the one who healed them. I will call him as he allows me to, ever so carefully as not to alert him, for even I wasn't aware…

Of this tender feeling buried so deep in this inhuman chest of mine that was manifesting like a sickly, twisted, gnarled thing… It shouldn't have been allowed to be there, yet he wanted me to call him honestly, and even as I stared back into the faces that bore the exact same ones as mine, yet weren't me and intended to hurt him with their song, I would still tell him. I'd break myself for him and tell him ever so casually while housing him from the rain with my translucent shield… Because his voice was so very special to me that I would offer him my own voice as well as the throat it came from, the body that housed it and that spirit that developed it. I would give him everything…

I will sing my heart out for him as I slowly erode away because he show me so many wonderful things… So many wonderful, wonderful things… He let my mind wander into his answers of my questions, no matter how many or how daft. No matter how confusing or childish or rude… He left me to ask them, and replied each time earnestly, which only made me ask them in a more earnest manner. So, therefore, the man before us with his lies, the enemy of the one most important to me, would pay for even considering hurting him. I would do whatever I could… And that love for him surely saved us, or so he praised me without words. So I asked something so utterly selfish of him in my last moments… And he granted my request. He gave me, an artificial life, love. He gave it to me in such an earnest way… So honest in body, mind and soul… My dear… Irreplaceable… Precious… Beloved…

Aoba-san.


End file.
